<h1 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Independence Day</strong></h1>
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<p>One of the major causes of relationship deficiencies in men these days lies in the fact that most of us come from broken homes – Dad didn’t stick around, or you visited him on weekends, and you didn’t have the old nuclear family that would inherently teach you how to properly have and maintain a successful LTR or marriage. Even in the odd case that marriages were still together during your childhood, feminism seeped in long ago and many fathers were Beta and let the woman run things, teaching men the wrong tendencies and traits you need to have a happy and content long term affair with a girl. This lack of constant feedback as a young man, in his formative years of learning social dynamics, leaves men confused and grasping at whatever they can find for examples of how to behave in a relationship, and they usually fall back on the verbal feedback they get from their spouse, or girlfriend. Well I’m here to shatter these insidious little trends. For some perspective on dating culture, you can <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/New-York/city-of-New-York.html">see how singles navigate relationships in New York</a>.</p>
<p>You may experience this, as I have in my training days, that when you are successfully dating lots of women, or even just enjoying being single, that if you were to get into a relationship, you would lose the independence that you love and value so much. Your natural conclusion is that the girl you choose to be with, either completely exclusive or at least making her your prime girl, will suck all the free time and ‘you’ time out of your existence. How many guys do you hear saying that they fear that they’ll no longer be able to go out as often because they will be getting into a relationship, or when they’re in one, you never hear from them again? Let’s take out the obvious constant desire to be around a girl that you’ve chosen for the first few months where you naturally may pass up hanging with the guys for another session on your couch, floor, desk, etc. This isn’t really a bad thing, because in the beginning, it’s what you want, but after a few months, you start missing your old life, and you miss your friends, so you may start to seek them out, but the old ball and chain has gotten so used to you being around she starts acting out against this notion, and you feel like you’re on a short leash, and have to be home at a certain hour. You can <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/03/20/10-helpful-tips-for-a-healthy-relationship/">read tips on keeping a healthy relationship balance</a>.</p>
<h3><strong>Handling the Three-Month Blissfest</strong></h3>
<p>I’ve been that guy too, believe it or not. It usually happened after the three-month spell of constant sex wore off, and I looked around and felt stuck in a routine, and it was harder to break after that long escape into paradise of her body. And here is the crux of the problem. Too many guys wait until this haze of fresh constant intimacy has worn off to start thinking about these things and doing them. They let the attraction seduce them into a state of bliss that nothing can interfere with it, and it seems like the holiest feelings in the world. It can seem impossible for the man to specifically withdraw himself from this paradise in order to get a handle on the long-term benefits. My fallacy was that I never wanted a long-term relationship, it just happened after the three-month blissfest was over and I decided she was okay to keep around – but even with that attitude, it was always a struggle to shake the routine you have built up with spending almost all your free time with the girl.</p>
<p>For men caught in this three-month period, it is important that you purposely don’t see the girl for at least 3 days of the week; not only will this benefit you after the allure has worn off, but it will make her attraction for you increase tenfold. She will love the fact that you don’t need to see her every day, and it will alleviate any reservations about getting too serious, as it will be replaced with the feeling of dread that maybe you aren’t that into her as she thinks, or she is to you. Gone are the seeds of resentment, and blooming is the merriment of desire and fantasy as she dreams about you when she goes to sleep. You can also <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/California/city-of-Los-Angeles.html">check out the dating scene in Los Angeles</a> to see social dynamics in action.</p>
<h3><strong>Reclaiming Independence in Long-Term Relationships</strong></h3>
<p>For men that are already past this stage, and deep into a long-term relationship that has already skewed the power to your woman, you have your work cut out for you. It will require a steady weaning her off of you and your submissive ways. You will need to reinforce your independence slowly: go out with some friends once a week (twice if you already are), arrive home from work an hour later, or after work go for a beer even if it’s by yourself. Start taking little time for yourself and you will start to get the feeling of that single, independent you back, and thus your confidence and attractiveness to your woman. Resistance is normal, especially if your woman is overly needy or a control freak, but let her resistance wash over you like it’s the voice of a Charlie Brown adult. You can also <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/10/28/connections-attractions-entering-into-relationships/">learn ways to maintain attraction in long-term relationships</a>.</p>
<p>As you progress, and you start to get back the man she was originally attracted to, you will find the balance of your independence and her attitude softening, and even becoming more like the girl you wanted to be around so much. Too many men believe their women want them to be around all the time, because in the beginning, they do. But girls are creatures of their emotions, and her need for security will overpower her need for attraction. Why? She can get her thrills from other places like the guy at yoga class, the gym, work, or the market. The point is, you need to sway that pendulum back over to the attraction side, where she starts to get insecure about you wanting to be around her, and if she’s doing a good enough job keeping you around. Make her feel like your time with her is earned, and she will start to feel attraction for you again. Do not get caught up in routines and compromises, or you will be left with a sexless and frustrating relationship that sucks your soul away, and leaves you a worthless lump of coal that needs to relearn game after she’s done with you.</p>
<h3><strong>Conclusion: A Man Keeps His Independence</strong></h3>
<p>A man keeps his independence, and thus keeps his girl. By taking time for yourself, balancing your life, and maintaining frame, you reinforce your value and attract the woman you want, while keeping the lifestyle you desire. Maintaining independence is not just a tactic, it is the foundation of lasting attraction. For further insights on city-specific dating dynamics, you can <a href="https://www.loveawake.com/free-online-dating/United-States/Florida/city-of-Miami.html">see how singles in Miami handle relationships</a>.</p>
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